Cancer Sucks, But God……

When you have cancer, you go through so many emotions: fear, anger, confusion, helpless, ashamed, embarrassed, exposed, vulnerable, disappointed, victim, anxious, powerless, worried, nervous, overwhelmed, guilty. These are the ones I’ve felt. I never cried so much trying to reason with myself about how I got cancer.  I am healthy, but somehow I got cancer.   I gave these emotions to God. I laid them down because I could have never faced my future with them in my mind or heart. It was hard, but it had to be. Mindset is everything!

Cancer doesn’t care who you are, how old or young, how much money you make or insurance you have or don’t. It was hard to hear how much I would have to pay out.  I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t do anything wrong.  I got yearly health checkups! Why cancer, Why?

Knowing I had good health insurance and a short-term disability policy made things a little easier. I used to have a cancer policy, but it wouldn’t transfer with my new job and I was told that my new job didn’t have that kind of policy. Recently during my yearly policy update, I added a cancer policy to my short-term disability policy to make sure I had one, but it would only cover new found cancer. I set up payment plans with my surgeon and to procedures not covered by my health insurance because I am a good steward.

BUT GOD…………….

I got a letter from my insurance company that they reinstated my cancer policy from my old job and no reinstatement payment is due! It will be taken out through payroll! PRAISE GOD!  PRAISE GOD!

God has taken care of me this whole time! He never left my side. He let me know and see Him through this process.  I am still healthy and completely healed.  I am a true miracle! I have family and friends, colleagues and strangers praying for me, helping me and loving me. 

 I trust God! I have been saying that out loud and writing it down! Because I have NO control over my life, but He does. It is my daily prayer.  I trust you, God and whatever you are doing!  You can trust Him, it is hard but you can do it.  It wasn’t until I got cancer that I found I had no other choice but to trust Him with everything, because I had control over nothing. Having control was my vice, it was all I had. But God wanted me to see Him. And now I do, in everything!

See Him, Trust Him!  God is ALL you need!


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